The one thing I really like about my current job is the travel. Granted, it does get tiring every now and then but I enjoy meeting new people in new places. The more people I meet, the more I realize that people are inherently the same.
You know, you have your nice people, your not so nice people, your insecure people, your secure people. And you have your dull people. The people that bore you to tears but lack the inner vision to see that they are killing you slowly.
This week I met THE worlds most boring person to walk the earth. The catch is you would never suspect that she was a 10 watt bulb in a 100 watt outlet by looking at her.
So here I am in Hawaii taking in the sights and I stumble across a girl who is fairly "famous" doing a photo shoot. I know a lot of models but her I did not recognize - until she told me who she was. Anyway, I stroll past the shoot which happens to be at the same hotel I am staying and think nothing of it. It's spring time in Hawaii, I am sure there are half (and more) naked girls everywhere gyrating to camera flashes this time of year. So I cruise on by and head up to my room to get cleaned up to go out to eat.
A few hours later I go down to the bar for a Crown and Seven (nothin' better!) and wait for a few of my co-workers to show up so we can eat and have a meeting. I refresh my drink and the model from out front strolls in and sits a few chairs down from me. I give her a smile and a nod hello and continue watching the news. A few moments later she is sitting directly beside me.
As soon as looked at her a little more closely, I realized something was not right about her. Then she went opened her mouth and confirmed my suspicion. She introduced herself with an extended hand which I took and returned my coined "Hi, I am Terry but everyone just calls me T". Then she goes and asks "Is that short for Terry?" Now the face I did not immediately recognize but the name I knew instantly. This woman - being just a handful years older than myself essentially helped me come of age. So now knowing who she was in that sense, I instinctively held some regard for her. Now having said that; The "T" comment - definitely one of the most stupid introduction retorts I have ever heard was given a pardon. Anyone else I would have walked away from. "Um, yeah. T is short for Terry but you can call me Terry if makes you feel better." I come back, already beginning to toy with her. "But T is so much shorter" she said with out so much as a bat of an eye. I am sitting here enjoying a very good drink in the presence of a woman who has to be one the prettiest people I have ever laid eyes on that could not get an adult conversation past a single letter of the alphabet. You can only begin to imagine my disappointment.
I did manage to talk to her a bit before my colleagues began to show up. She and I exchange numbers and agree to go out and have a drink later in the week. Cool, I am out of that.
Later that night my phone rings but I answered before looking at the caller ID. "Hello? Is this T or is this Terry?" Instantly I knew who it was - imagine that. (I never did figure out if she was serious or having a 10 watt moment).
Twenty minutes later I go downstairs to meet her in the bar. Kino - the bartender, sees me walk in and gives me a little wave telling me a Crown and Seven is coming and then points over to where "A" is sitting with an impish grin. I join her at a small table tucked away in the corner hoping that this time things go better. I look at her I see a very dim light in her eyes. I am wondering if it is a reflection of the candlelight or more indicative of her IQ. I start the conversation slow and easy trying to not talk down to her but also to not provoke her to say stupid things that will annoy me. The conversation much reminded me of calling my younger nieces and nephews back home. You know the slow start conversations where you are building them up to see how developed they have become since you last spoke... 'How's school going' type stuff to let them roll with the conversation so you know where they now stand intellectually. Problem is I would have had a better conversation with my twelve year old nephew than with this woman of 33 years who now sat across from me.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Everywhere you go you come across people that just lack that cerebral snap. They are everywhere. They demonstrate to us each and every day how modern technology, capitalism and to an extent; our own human compassion has neutralized Darwin's most popular theory. Selectively, the smoothed brained of us would be out paced by the folded and left behind to form their own sub-culture, but our acceptance and tolerance has very compassionately kept them by our sides. And compassion is exactly what I felt in the latter hours of that evening that just would not end.
She and I sat and talked and walked Wikiki Beach until the wee morning hours. Though 'smooth' in her conversation she was (is) incredibly sweet by nature but by no means compatible with anyone with any intellectual resolve what so ever!
It reminded of a license plate a friend of mine had in Florida. "SPSNB". For weeks I tried to figure this plate out but nothing would come. In fact it had gotten to the point where every one in the group was trying to figure this plate out. Problem was, Becca was a very devout lesbian and new to the group. One night over a few beers and college project going disasterously, I popped the question. "Bec, what does that plate mean"? Everyone grew quiet and eyed her reaction. She smiled a coy smile and said "You of all people should know. In fact all of you should know. Collectively you are smart and all know me fairly well now. It means 'Stupid People Should Not Breathe'." How appropriate a plate for Bec. Her tolerance for stupidity was very limited and made her fit into the group quite well.
As I walked on the beach with the sun now beginning to rise, this plate raced through my mind and I smiled Bec's coy little smile and was met by A's eyes. "What?" "Nothing, nothing at all. Just thinking an old thought that I don't wish to share." She accepted this response, though overly gruff without debate or offense. I continued to think as we walked. Here I am, in Hawaii walking the beach at sunrise with (arguably) one of the prettiest women in the world and she is just plain old stupid, but nice in her own way.
Be that as it may, whether they should breathe or not is beyond question because they do. So out of compassion or tolerance, make an effort to be kind to those less cerebrally gifted than yourself because you never know who they might be. I guarantee you will continue to stumble across them time and time again as you do every other type of person made in the form of Man.
If you are not sure as to what my 1300 or so word tirade has been about. You'll be wanting to get a CT Scan or a MRI. The findings will conclude that you too have the brain texture of a marble.
-T
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