Moron of The Month

It is that time of month. No, no! Not the moody, irritable time of month! That time of month when we crown our beloved Moron of the Month!

Really, how stupid can one person be? The answer to that question is almost too profound to comprehend. The best we can do is applaud those who go to such great lengths to prove that Forrest Gump’s fictional mother was all too correct. "Stupid is as stupid does."
Probably coming as no big surprise (and great disappointment to our splendid group of runner ups) is the former Illinois Governor; the infamous "Roddy" Rod Blagojevich.



Ahhh! I love that picture. The firm secure posture of the head. The confident curl of the upper lip. The three quarter turn that displays assertiveness... Those beady little eyes. He even looks like a crook. And sportin the hell out of that blue tie; but we won’t go there. A politician being a crook comes as no surprise; it is almost an expectation. Politicians have a peculiar way of flying both over and under the radar at the same time. But when you are being investigated by the FBI for more than three years, you are pretty much the only thing on the radar.

He figured that if E-Bay could sell Obama’s former car, he could sell Obama’s former seat! Pretty capitalist for a blue drabbed liberal. Though worthy of nomination, it is not the act itself; it is how he handled it.

Upon learning he was being taped, he had this to say;

"whether you tape me privately or publicly, I can tell you that whatever I say is always lawful and the things I'm interested in are always lawful."

He further stated that "if anybody wants to tape my conversations, go right ahead, feel free to do it. I appreciate anybody who wants to tape me openly and notoriously; and those who feel like they want to sneakily, and wear taping devices, I would remind them that it kind of smells like Nixon and Watergate."

After a meeting between Blagojevich and Jackson regarding the Senate seat,
when asked his thoughts on being the subject of federal tapings, Blagojevich stated, "I don't believe there's any cloud that hangs over me. I think there's nothing but sunshine hanging over me."

Very good things to say; but only if he had not said what he did on the tapes! Here is a sample of what he said;

"it's a fucking valuable thing, you just don't give it away for nothing", and that if "If I don't get what I want...I'll just take the Senate seat myself"

He knew they were taping him, he knew what he spoke such "words of honesty". He chose to stick to his guns and maybe, just maybe... that comment was not caught. Umm, yeah Roddy, it was. And if your self proclaimed ambition to run for the presidency in 2016 had been fulfilled, your comparison to Nixon and Watergate would have proved prophetic!

Soon (and very soon) after this, they called for his head. From being arrest to be being impeached took only about a months time. And who says our government doesn’t work fast? I bet Roddy doesn’t!

And it is not just this. The FBI investigation was far broader in scope code and named "Operation Board Games" (not hard to imagine why that name was given). In the investigation our Moron was "Public Official A". The top fish in a pond much smaller than he ever imagined it could be. If you understand how these investigations work, they climb there way up to the primary subject and bring the whole thing tumbling down with him. Fifteen people had already been charge. Common sense would tell the average person that the time to chill had come. And as we all well know, common sense does not apply; in fact, it is a forbidden trait for any person subject to the scrutiny of Moron of the Month. (He passed with flying colors).

A class act through and through, Roddy boycotted the first three days of his own impeachment hearing - yeah, that sent a message. A further snub to the powers that be; he left before the proceedings ended. Classy, classy guy that Roddy! But he is good company; the seventh Ill. Governor to have been arrested or indicted and (will be) the fourth to be jailed. And yes, he is going to jail.

In jail he will again have the opportunity to sell a seat (his seat); this time for a pack of smokes, or maybe for the right to be Bubba’s main bitch.

-T